On a recent episode of the popular talk show hosted by David Letterman, the topic of discussion was none other than the bustling tourist scene in the iconic city of New York. As the transcript reveals, Letterman presented a hilarious and informative top ten list titled “Top Ten Things Every New York City Tourist Needs To Know.” The diverse range of tips and insights provided a comprehensive glimpse into the unique quirks and unspoken rules of the city that never sleeps.
Starting off the list at number ten, the audience was informed that if your car happens to be towed in New York City, it might actually be cheaper to purchase a whole new vehicle rather than paying the hefty fines. This lighthearted tidbit set the tone for the rest of the countdown, hinting at the sarcastic yet amusing nature of the list.
At number nine, Letterman humorously suggested leaving a relative back home to carry on the family name. With New York City being a hub of diversity and cultural exchange, this playful remark served as a witty reminder of the city’s global appeal.
Moving along to number eight, the talk show host jokingly alluded to the unexpected friendliness of the men in the Granard Village neighborhood. This lighthearted jab at the residents of a specific area in New York City showcased Letterman’s comedic timing and ability to find humor in everyday situations.
Number seven brought humorous commentary on the cost of transportation in the city, as Letterman stated that a cab ride from the JFK airport to Midtown Manhattan should cost a mere $600. This exaggerated figure highlights how New York City can sometimes be synonymous with high prices.
The list then took an unexpected turn at number six, discussing an unconventional way to economize on “hookers” by purchasing a weekly pass. This risqué comment added an edgy element to the otherwise light-hearted banter, showcasing Letterman’s ability to push the envelope while keeping the audience entertained.
As the countdown continued, the mention of the Spider-Man 2 movie being available on video already drew cheers and applause from the audience. This little nugget of trivia provided a brief moment of pop culture relevance and reminded viewers of the ever-changing entertainment landscape.
The hilarity of the list continued with number four, which humorously advised tourists to simply pretend they didn’t see anything. This cheeky reminder to ignore some of the city’s more eccentric occurrences perfectly encapsulated the mentality needed to navigate the buzzing streets of New York.
At number three, Letterman playfully highlighted the consequences of engaging in intimate activities in a police squad car, noting that the police don’t take kindly to such behavior. This witty remark added an element of naughtiness to the list, eliciting laughter from the crowd.
Number two took a sudden shift into the realm of health and safety, advising against applying Ben Gay to gunshot wounds. This unexpected piece of advice served as a reminder of the diverse range of incidents one might encounter when exploring the city.
And finally, the number one thing every New York City tourist needs to know, according to Letterman, is that if you smoke in a bar, Mayor Bloomberg will kick you in the nuts. This humorous warning regarding smoking regulations under former Mayor Bloomberg brought the list to a hilarious and memorable end.
With each item on the list, David Letterman‘s wit and comedic timing kept the audience engaged and entertained. As fans of the chat show know, it’s always a treat when Letterman delves into amusing topics like the quirks and idiosyncrasies of New York City. Whether you’re a resident or a wide-eyed visitor, this top ten list serves as a gentle reminder that navigating the Big Apple requires a sense of humor and a willingness to embrace the unexpected.
