The Late Show with Stephen Colbert returned after a brief hiatus with host Stephen Colbert delivering a lively and entertaining episode. Colbert kicked off the show by informing viewers about his absence, explaining that he was attending the Emmys in Los Angeles. Congratulating some of his favorite shows, Colbert wasted no time in diving into the day’s serious news. It was revealed that former President Donald Trump had been the subject of an assassination attempt at his Florida golf club.
Colbert, a staunch advocate for non-violence, used this opportunity to address gun owners directly. He urged them not to shoot anyone and even offered them alternative ways to spend their money. From enjoying a stack of fluffy pancakes at IHOP to buying personalized bicycle license plates, Colbert suggested a range of options. He also playfully suggested learning to play the flute and calling one’s children to share the news of trading guns for a musical instrument.
The talk show host then delved into the details of the incident at Mar-a-Lago. A deranged individual had spent nearly 12 hours hiding at the golf course, armed with a rifle. It was a secret service agent who ultimately spotted the rifle sticking through the shrubbery. Colbert drew parallels between this situation and Looney Tunes, humorously referring to John Wilkes Booth’s famous line, “Be very, very quiet, I’m about to interrupt a play.”
As the story continued to unfold, it became apparent that the suspect had a criminal record dating back decades and had recently resided in Hawaii before traveling to Florida. Colbert humorously questioned the necessity of leaving a place as beautiful as Hawaii for Florida, likening it to Hawaii with an STD.
The suspect’s political affiliations were difficult to pinpoint, as he claimed to have supported various individuals ranging from Trump to Bernie Sanders, Tulsi Gabbard, Nikki Haley, and even VI Ramaswami. Colbert lightheartedly compared this to ordering soup, then sneakers, and finally, VI Ramaswami, highlighting the vast differences between the politicians.
After a social media post from Trump assuring everyone of his safety, he sat down with Fox digital and placed blame on President Biden and Vice President Harris, accusing them of inciting violence and threatening democracy. Colbert wittily remarked about Trump blaming others for his own actions, likening it to a spouse shifting the blame for calling them unattractive. He playfully engaged in a fictional conversation where he and “Trump” traded jabs about their appearances.
The late-night host then shifted gears, discussing the post-debate poll numbers that showed Harris jumping ahead of Trump. Colbert humorously dismissed the idea of trusting poll numbers, suggesting that the number six might be afraid of the number seven. He poked fun at the former president’s claim that Harris cheated by suggesting she had the debate questions ahead of time, paralleling it with his own realization that he too knew what the questions would be. This comical exchange added a lighthearted touch to the political discussion.
Colbert then turned his attention to prominent figures who were doing little to deescalate the rhetoric. He mentioned Elon Musk’s tweet about no one attempting to assassinate Biden or Kamala Harris, questioning whether the “thinky face” emoji was the right choice for suggesting political violence. He humorously offered an alternative emoji and jokingly referenced a potential call from the Secret Service.
The article then shifted to J.D. Vance, who had spoken at a rally in Michigan, propagating hateful lies about Haitian immigrants. Despite these claims being thoroughly debunked, Vance persisted in spreading his false narrative. Colbert playfully remarked on Vance’s falsehoods, drawing humor from the outlandishness of the accusations.
Vance’s lies had serious consequences, as bomb threats, evacuations, and canceled events occurred following his rally. Colbert pointed out that the Springfield woman who had initiated the rumors on Facebook later admitted to having no evidence to support her claims. He questioned what else people might be lying about on the platform.
Given the threats of violence faced by his constituents, Vance opted to redirect his focus. Instead of lying about immigrants, he began discussing why it was essential for him to lie about immigrants. Colbert amusingly expressed how sometimes one has to create a lie to garner attention, referencing Vance’s own rumored encounter with a couch.
As the episode came to a close, Colbert teased upcoming guests, Jeremy Strong and Dr. Francis Collins, leaving viewers eager for future episodes of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
