In a recent episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, the host treated viewers to an array of intriguing and sometimes bizarre headlines from around the world. From a Connecticut priest trading meth for couples’ sexual escapades to the fascinating possibility of Emperor Palpatine having a love life, Colbert’s monologue covered it all.
First up, Colbert discussed a new scientific development in food. As part of an eco-friendly initiative, scientists have managed to grow a rice hybrid that is packed with beef muscle and fat cells. In fact, this rice hybrid is so meaty that it has become the new slogan for Taco Bell. Imagine enjoying a plateful of beef-filled rice at your favorite fast-food joint!
Next, Colbert brought attention to a rather scandalous incident involving a pastor in Connecticut. Apparently, this trusted religious figure was dealing meth in exchange for watching couples engage in sexual activities. Talk about a jaw-dropping revelation! It must be quite awkward for churchgoers to discover that their spiritual leader is involved in such illicit activities.
Moving on to a more amusing story, Colbert shared the tale of a man caught attempting to smuggle pythons across the border. When customs officials asked if he had any pythons in his pants, he checked “yes” on the form. Clearly, this snake enthusiast was not trying to hide his love for the slithering creatures.
In a nod to Star Wars fans, Colbert mentioned an interview with Ian McDiarmid, the actor who portrays Emperor Palpatine in the movies. McDiarmid was asked about whether his character procreated to produce Ray Skywalker. Surprisingly, he openly entertained the idea of Palpatine having a sexual side. Oh, the things we learn about our favorite fictional characters!
Switching gears to feline-related news, Colbert informed viewers that a cat in Oregon managed to give its owner the Bubonic plague. Experts note that cats are particularly vulnerable to the disease. Colbert humorously pondered how these seemingly innocent creatures, who spend their days licking their buttholes and walking in their own poop, can spread such serious illnesses. It’s a mystery we may never fully understand.
In a more serious segment, Colbert discussed scientists’ desperate attempts to cool the planet. These solutions include dumping chemicals in the ocean, spraying saltwater into clouds, and injecting reflective particles into the sky. The New England Journal of screw it, we’re just throwing stuff at the wall apparently published these ideas. It seems that when it comes to climate change, scientists are willing to try anything.
Lastly, Colbert shared the poetic musings of actor Josh Brolin, who wrote a collection of poems for a behind-the-scenes book about the movie Dune. Brolin’s poems even included a tribute to Timothy Chalamet‘s cheekbones. The actor responded with a tongue-in-cheek poem of his own, teasing Brolin about potentially crossing professional boundaries.
As the monologue came to an end, Colbert announced the highly anticipated appearance of music legend Billy Joel on his show. With such a diverse and entertaining lineup of topics, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert continues to capture its audience’s attention week after week.
