On a recent episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, the host wasted no time diving into the latest news surrounding former President Donald Trump. It turns out that Trump is facing quite a hefty financial burden, and he needs $454 million, and fast.

Colbert gleefully informed his audience that a New York judge, Ang Goran, ruled that Trump must pay $355 million as a result of a fraud case. But that’s not all – the ruling also includes back interest, bringing the total amount to a staggering $454 million. And if Trump doesn’t pay up within 30 days, he’ll be charged an additional $4,553.04 each day.

To make matters worse for Trump, if he fails to comply with the ruling, his property could be seized by the New York attorney general, Leticia James. Colbert even had a little fun with the situation, joking that Trump is turning to “foot stuff” for quick cash, referencing the launch of his $399 gold “Never Surrender” sneakers. However, it seems that only a few limited edition pairs have been made so far, leaving buyers waiting until July 2024 for their delivery.

But the gold sneakers weren’t the only item in Trump’s merchandise arsenal. His website also sells Trump-branded Victory 47 cologne and perfume for $99 per bottle. Colbert couldn’t help but make a playful jab at the product, jokingly calling for help because he could “smell terrible” after using it.

In other Trump-related news, he recently won the South Carolina primary, giving a victory speech in which he thanked his family, including his “supportive” children and his daughter-in-law, Kimberly Ivona. However, Colbert pointed out that Trump’s support in South Carolina is not as strong as he may think. Over one in five GOP primary voters in the state said they wouldn’t vote for him if he became the nominee. One voter even went so far as to say, “I hope he chokes on a sandwich.”

Colbert then shifted his attention to former UN ambassador Nikki Haley, who was rejected by her home state but has decided to stay in the race for now. Colbert humorously compared her persistence to the post-credit scenes in a Marvel movie, where new characters are often introduced.

But the most entertaining part of the episode came when Colbert discussed Trump’s recent speeches and appearances. At a gala for South Carolina’s black conservative Federation, Trump made some rather bizarre assertions. He claimed that black people support him because they see him being “discriminated against” through the charges brought against him. Colbert couldn’t help but question the logic behind this statement, jokingly remarking, “No, no, no, it doesn’t make sense.”

Continuing with his series of speeches, Trump spoke to a Christian radio group and promised to protect the Christian cross, asserting, “No one will be touching the Cross of Christ under the Trump Administration.” Colbert couldn’t help but add a touch of humor to this statement, joking that touching a cross makes it burn and causes a little girl’s head to spin around – a clear reference to horror movies.

Lastly, Colbert mentioned Trump’s appearance at CPAC, where he defended his gaffes by claiming they were a sign of “total genius” rather than a cognitive problem. Trump also raised concerns about imaginary dangers related to immigration, expressing disbelief at the existence of languages spoken in the United States that no one has ever heard of.

With his signature wit and charm, Colbert managed to entertain his audience while highlighting the latest developments surrounding Trump and his financial woes. As always, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert delivered a lively and humorous take on current events, leaving viewers eagerly awaiting the next episode.